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FR badagga's Lonely Days in Pattaya, Part 1: Bonjour, Je t'aime
Bonjour, Je t'aime
When I was living in Thailand, I once took a trip to Pattaya for about a week. To reach the place I was heading for, I first had to take one of those shuttle-like boats out to an island. Pattaya has several islands, and I still remember the moment I climbed onto that boat. Maybe it had been too long since I had been on the water, but I still have a photo of myself wearing a life jacket and looking thoroughly frightened.
After some time had passed, somewhere around the middle of the crossing, I saw a single house standing on a small island. About an hour later, we arrived at a little harbor.
Once you get off at that small island port and keep walking, you quickly realize something: ah, this is farther than it looked. I must have walked quite a lot. My memory gets a little hazy from there, but I think there was a seafood market, then a narrow row of shops. If you went past them and slipped into a tucked-away alley on the left, you could see the outer wall of a building that looked about three stories high. At the very end of it was a small motel that felt like a private little paradise.
The image below was actually taken on my second arrival. The place had a wooden style with white paint, and right in front of it was the sea: a small harbor-side, house-like motel.
At the time, I think the price was a little over 50,000 won in Korean money. Considering the view, it was fairly cheap. That was where I stayed on my first trip to Pattaya. The room was surprisingly spacious, somewhere around 90 square meters if memory serves, yet it still felt modest and cozy.
On the terrace outside, there was one bench, one rocking chair, and an ashtray. Far off in the distance, the horizon spread out in a mixture of emerald green and pale sky blue. The warm sea breeze, full of salt, cleared my blocked sinuses as if someone had opened a window inside my skull.
As soon as I arrived, I sat down in the rocking chair and rolled a cigarette. I placed a can of coffee beside the roller, smoked the fresh one I had just made, and by the time the tobacco was gone, I downed the whole can in one go. Then I opened a book written in French, a language I could not read, and pretended to read it.
"Bonjour."
With that single word, I lowered the book and rolled another cigarette. I took one deep drag and exhaled slowly. Just then, a friend suddenly came up to me.
"Come out, hurry."
Mm. So much for savoring the day. All I wanted was to sit there quietly, looking at Thailand's peaceful sea, and enjoy the stillness. Je t'aime...
We rode a rented motorbike for roughly twenty minutes. Along the roadside, slim little stray dogs seemed to be everywhere, and to the right, low hills and wide open fields stretched out. After passing along a road that rose like a hill, the beach finally came into view.
At Pattaya beach, people from all sorts of countries were mixed together. Americans were opening beer cans. Women were sunbathing. Chinese tour groups moved in clusters. There were also several Koreans, wrapped tightly in clothing. In the shade nearby, a wild monkey was eating food left behind by tourists.
I, too, was dressed as if prepared for winter. Underneath, I was wearing a short-sleeved shirt that looked like it belonged in Hawaii. Maybe the people around me were not dressed quite colorfully enough, so I did not take off my winter clothes. Even now, I admit the winter outfit was a little much. In any case, I changed on the roadside from my winter clothes and underwear into a pair of swim shorts I had bought for 50 THB.
Some women nearby seemed to be watching with great interest. Of course, depending on the place, changing quickly for a moment is part of ordinary life there. There is no fixed changing room. "Bonjour."
Anyway, I ate pineapple khao phat, kung chae nam pla, and yam with the people I was with. There was also a salty grilled pork hind leg, and I drank a slushie as well. Then I sat on a bench under a parasol and opened the French book again.
"Je me vel... me... ma re... vel."
I was muttering to myself like that when I felt a sharp gaze from the side. A young Chinese man sitting nearby was looking at me with something very close to contempt. So I suppose reading was out of the question again. I had wanted to read my book while listening to the noise of the beach and feeling the warm, soft wind of Pattaya.
I closed the book and looked ahead. The people I had come with were already splashing in the water. I stood up, left my French book on the bench, put my winter clothes back on as quickly as I could, and ran toward them.
At first, I was surprised by how many pebbles there were underfoot. Still, I acted as if it did not hurt and walked with great dignity. By the time a faint, unfortunate groan escaped me, the bottom had changed into a soft sandy texture.
The waves in Pattaya were fairly high. Even when the water rose up to my neck, the waves still hit in a playful way. It was fun, the way my upper body would appear above the surface when a wave came, then sink back to my neck again. I dove under and picked up shells and conches. The sea below was full of strange living things.
Then suddenly, people around me and my companions began shouting and heading out of the water. Far away, someone was signaling for me to come quickly. Next to that person, another set of hands formed a triangle above the head.
Je t'aime. No. This is where I die...
I dove at full speed. I think about five seconds passed underwater, but I had gone nowhere. I twisted my body left and right, sank, came back up, and somehow still made no progress. Sand crunched in my mouth. In one hand, I was still holding a conch.
Just in case, I looked behind me. I had never seen anything so terrifying in my life. Two gray triangles, one to my right and one to my left, grew smaller and larger as they moved. They seemed to circle, slowly getting closer.
Just as I was about to say my final je t'aime, someone behind me suddenly caught me by the back of the neck in what felt like a rear choke. "Je... t'aime-kehek!" I was suddenly dragged toward shore at full speed. Seawater rushed into my mouth. In the blink of an eye, I had been hauled out onto the beach.
As soon as I came out and turned around, those things were already far away, circling in round, round movements before disappearing. They had been sharks. The triangle gesture meant one thing: shark.
At sea, the sound of waves swallows the noise around you. That is why rescue signals and warnings are given by hand. The person who saved me was a lifeguard stationed by the parasols.
I looked at him seriously and thanked him with the same sincerity I would put into a broadcast. "Thank you. Sir, truly, thank you." Bonjour and everything like it had completely vanished from my mind at that moment.
When I returned to the bench under the parasol, the French book was gone. It was nowhere to be found. I needed to urinate, so I opened the door of a nearby temporary restroom, only to discover it was a changing room.
Je t'aime... I mumbled, then looked down at my hand. I was still holding the conch.
This story is based on something I actually experienced in Pattaya, then reinterpreted and reshaped with a comic, faintly chilling mood inspired by Roald Dahl.
No matter how much professional knowledge humans accumulate, and no matter how scientifically we try to understand nature, in front of nature we are ultimately just human beings.
As the weather grows warmer, encounters with potentially dangerous subtropical creatures are becoming more frequent. But rather than calling those creatures simply bad, I think it is more accurate to understand that they evolved those forms and behaviors for survival and defense.
I hope everyone has a safe and enjoyable vacation. Thank you for reading.
© 2026 FR badagga / 고독한바닥가. All rights reserved.
